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Crawly Pest Control

Philip looked up from the invoice he was writing and sat still. Two seconds passed … three.

The phone rang. He smiled.

He always knew when a call was coming in. They always told him.

He picked up the receiver. “Crawly Immersive Pest Control. Philip speaking. How may I help you?”

A woman’s worried voice spilled across the wire.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said when she took a breath. “We remove any sort of pests … yes, our work is guaranteed.”

He signed the invoice and closed his ledger.

“I don’t hear a hiss ma’am — maybe it’s your line.” Philip hardly ever heard the hiss anymore.

“Well, right … right,” he went on. “‘Immersive’ means my associates actually occupy your home until the unwanted varmint is removed … uh-huh … usually overnight will do the trick.”

Philip smiled, and noticed Georgie nuzzling his leg. Little guy always got excited at the prospect of a new job.

“Where are you located?” Philip asked the caller. “Sure … sure, I know the area. We can be there tonight … yes, we really can take care of any pest … you have my word.”

Now Thomas tugged on Philip’s other pant leg.

“Oh, I think you’ll find our rates are reasonable,” Philip said to his caller. “Do you know what kind of animal we’re looking for?”

He listened as the woman rattled off a list.

“Mice … a raccoon … birds in the attic …”

The trailer rocked gently back and forth now. Philip needed to wrap things up, take care of his associates before they headed out.

“That’s all pretty standard … what’s that? Oh, a snake?”

He smiled at the floor squirming around him.

“Oh, yes, we can handle a snake, ma’am.”

The more the merrier, he always said.

Published inFlash Fiction

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